Aller à un contest chez Romain Covolan, c’est un peu comme aller à la Street League sauf qu’on a le droit de faire à peu près tout ce qui est interdit au royaume de Rob Dyrdek, à savoir boire de la bière, dire des conneries au micro, dropper n’importe où, pisser dans le jardin et se faire tatouer par Julien Bénoliel

Romain_CovolanLe roi Covolan dans son royaume à lui

Dix ans que Romain Covolan remue des gravats et lisse les courbes de son jardin. Ça valait bien un petit apéro. Étant d’ailleurs lui-même champion de France d’apéritif (catégorie plus de 80kg), Romain sait comment s’y prendre pour organiser un anniversaire. Une recette simple composée de trois ingrédients indispensables que l’on assaisonne ensuite à son goût : du béton, de la bière à gogo et du pognon pour les meilleurs tricks. Pognon gracieusement offert par des sponsors dont j’ai oublié le nom, mais qui me reviendront peut-être à la fin de ce texte.

James_Demarcus_rollinJames Demarcus from ze US, toujours dans les bons coups. Roll’in de chauffe

En tant que champion de France des rabat-joie toutes catégories, j’y suis allé en début d’après-midi pour tenter d’éviter de picoler et ainsi être capable de rentrer chez moi en un seul morceau avant la fin de la finale féminine de Roland Garros. J’avoue qu’en tant qu’également champion de France 2017 des couche-tôt, j’ai préféré prendre un coup de soleil qu’une gueule de bois. Dans la vie les choix sont parfois difficiles mais jamais moins pire que si c’était grave. Et j’aime bien le tennis féminin.

Jo_Dezecot_feeblepulloutJo Dezecot comme un poisson dans l’eau à Covoland ! Feeble melon to fakie

Je me suis donc enfui comme un voleur au bout d’une heure, mais c’est parce que je suis aussi champion de France de turatologie, sport qui consiste à quitter un lieu rempli de personnes sympathiques sans rien dire à personne, parce que vous avez autre chose à foutre et surtout pour éviter de passer une heure de plus à dire au revoir à tout le monde. À ne pas confondre avec la turaturpinolie, discipline qui consiste elle à “rentrer en skate” (et dont je suis par ailleurs aussi champion du monde 2012) ou à éventuellement prétendre partir “acheter des clopes” pour faire diversion.

Anthony_Smeyers_melontransferAnthony Smeyers AKA Jean-Michel Tirette (selon Covo), melon transfer

Mais que peut-on avoir de mieux à foutre, me demanderez vous, que d’aller se bourrer à gueule à Covoland le week-end ? Eh bien figurez-vous qu’en tant que champion de France de choses et d’autres, je suis ensuite rendu à un contest d’embouteillages sur l’autoroute où je me suis qualifié pour les finales qui auront lieu demain aux alentours de 18H12 sur l’A6. Je ne suis donc pas mécontent d’avoir usé de mes talents de déserteur d’apéro de banlieue pour m’être rendu à cet open international (y’avait même des Hollandais) et peut-être ainsi participer au derby des juilletistes contre les aoûtiens cet été.

Paul_Galleli_BSbluntPaul Gallelli en courbe ? Eh ouais les mecs ! BS blunt 

Bref, il est temps de rendre l’antenne et de tourner une nouvelle page dans l’Histoire du journalisme sportif. Prends garde à toi Bernard Montiel, ce jour viendra où mon nom s’inscrira lui-aussi en lettres d’or sur les téléviseurs de France et de Navarre, prends garde à toi Nelson Montfort, prends garde à toi Jean-Michel Larqué, vous ne pourrez pas dire qu’on ne vous avait pas prévenus. (Et j’ai pas retrouvé les noms des sponsors, que l’on remercie quand-même chaleureusement.)



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  26. […] manquante pour en faire un vrai bowl fermé comme feu Chez Claude ou bien un spot béton à la Covoland. Revenons sur un projet pas comme les autres. Source insta […]

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